**Welcome to Exiled and Rising.**
You are seen, you are heard, and here, you belong.
If you have been exiled from your own land, your country—welcome. If you're stateless, a refugee, undocumented, or waiting to be deported—welcome. If you're indigenous to a land—welcome. If you are a survivor of war, genocide, and forced displacement—welcome. If you have faced the genocide of your dignity—welcome.
And identity. Because of your ethnicity, race, religion, the language you speak, the accent you carry, or your inherent value and beliefs—welcome. If you have been exiled from your own home, from your own community, your family, and if you never had a place at the dinner table—welcome. If you're an immigrant who arrived in a foreign country with just one bag and a few dollars, or if you made millions and still feel unworthy to take up space—welcome.
If you have been exiled from a communist country or still live in one—welcome. If you know what it means to live under surveillance, censorship, in a culture of obedience—welcome. If you have worked and labored in silence, exploited, underpaid, and stripped of your rights—welcome. Welcome.
If you were born into exile, if you carried the trauma of a homeland you never knew, and if you witnessed your father and your mother being silenced, being submitted, and being invisible only to survive—welcome.
I am Ana Mael, host of *Exiled and Rising.* I survived three wars. Statelessness. Multiple displacements. Today, I work as a somatic therapist specializing in PTSD and trauma recovery. I am the founder of the Somatic Trauma Recovery Center.
For years, I have worked with survivors of war, systemic oppression, and complex trauma. And I know this—trauma is not just something that happens. It shapes how we breathe, how we move, how we take up space, how we work, how we socialize, how we make money, and how we allow ourselves to exist.
This podcast is not about surface-level healing. We are not fluffing the feathers or shaking the crystals here. In *Exiled and Rising*, we are going to the depth and the core of the trauma and what it really means to heal when you live in an exiled body. We will talk about what it means to rise, to transform, to heal—to move from wound to resistance, from trauma to resilience, and what it means to finally take up space.
If this speaks to you, please pause now, subscribe, and share. Review after. Let's begin.
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### **Dissociation.**
Thank you.
Awareness of trauma is dangerous, and you don't want to be in awareness mode.
You cannot be in present awareness mode when you're facing abuse, when you're facing trauma. Imagine the pain you would feel and the impact of what happened to you if you were fully aware of it, or if trauma and abuse were a theme of your life. If you had to be aware of what was happening—growing up for years, being in an abusive relationship for years, or living in a place of war, discrimination—when you lived it as a theme of your life, imagine that pain.
So, thank your body for dissociation. Don't feel ashamed of it, and don't let anyone blame you or guilt you when you dissociate. When people comment, "Huh, here you go, did you just dissociate again? Can't you be more present?" What do they know? What do they know about the pain you felt when you lived it? They don’t know anything.
Your dissociative state knew. Your protective primal brain knew. It helped you. It served you. Your dissociative state was your protective angel, your guardian. That was your dissociation.
Thank your nervous system and your survival brain for guiding you to numb, for guiding you to float and move in that dissociative state. In that space, pain wasn’t so painful. There, you could be absent. There, you couldn't fully see your injuries while they were happening. There, you felt less. Say: **Dissociation, thank you for protecting me.**
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When you had to give up your will—yet dissociation helped you. When you had to give up your strength—in the state of being dissociative, you gained strength back. You could be that hero when abuse was happening. Say: **Thank you.**
When someone was ripping off your dignity, your dissociative state kept your dignity untouched.
When you gave up your hope in dissociation, you could build dreams. You could build your fantasy land. Say: **Dissociation, thank you.**
When you gave up love in dissociation, you felt loved by fairies, by angels, by God, by the divine. Say: **Thank you, dissociation.**
When you lost your drive to live because you were so exhausted, in dissociation, you could rest.
When you were sitting at the family dinner table, and embarrassment and shame were too much to bear, you could tune out and say: **Thank you, dissociative state.**
Thank you. You held my spine straight. You held my legs so I didn’t collapse. Thank you, dissociative state.
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And today, now, with your full awareness, when things are okay, when things are fine, when you see yourself around your friends, around your loved ones, you can say: **Thank you, dissociation.**
**Thank you for guarding me, protecting me, holding me.**
Thank you for being my competent adult when no one was there.
Thank you for being my mother when I didn’t have a mother.
Thank you for being my father when I didn’t have one.
Thank you for pulling me out.
Thank you for helping me to survive.
And just take a look around and notice—how do you feel in this moment right now? Is it safe? If it’s safe, with full awareness and gratitude, say to your dissociation: **I know you got me. I know you do. I know you do.**
You can rest. You can rest.
I’m safe. I’m safe now. You can rest.
I’m safe now. **Dissociation, thank you.**
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Connect with Ana Mael:
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Visit the website for more resources: https://www.somatictraumarecoverycenter.com/
Show Notes:
Poem is read from my book "The Trauma We Don't Talk About".
Buy here : https://amzn.to/4ituS7O
