Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Welcome to Excellent Rising. I'm Anna Mail, Somatic Experiencing therapist for PTSD and trauma recovery and the founder of Somatic Trauma Recovery Center.
[00:00:12] Today, episode is a short teaching and reminder about necessity of withdrawal, which usually comes with the winter solstice. So let's begin.
[00:00:25] Winter solstice is not a celebration.
[00:00:30] It is a time to turn inward.
[00:00:34] It arrives when the body has reached its limits, for light, for effort, for explanation.
[00:00:43] And it arrives when something in us knows.
[00:00:48] It is time to stop speaking outward, when it knows it is a time to stop showing up for others.
[00:01:04] And it's a time when we begin, uh, listening inward.
[00:01:12] This is the season when life retracts, when SAP Priest pulls back into the roots, when we pull back into our own roots.
[00:01:27] It is a time when animals disappear from view, when the land stops performing, so can you.
[00:01:42] And this is not a time for agility.
[00:01:46] It is not a time for performance.
[00:01:50] It is not a time to execute. It is not a time to act on.
[00:01:57] It is not a time for agendas, for planning.
[00:02:03] It is a time for withdrawal.
[00:02:07] Not isolation, but withdrawal as resting place, withdrawal as protection, withdrawal as regulation, withdrawal as a place to sit with your wisdom, to sit with your experience.
[00:02:33] Withdrawal as intelligence.
[00:02:37] And for most of human history, withdrawal was understood, it was respected.
[00:02:45] People retreated in winter, in grief, in illness, and in transition.
[00:02:53] It was deeply, deeply respected and honored.
[00:02:57] A, uh, time where we need to pull back.
[00:03:06] When people slowed the pace of contact, when they reduced visibility and when they conserved energy.
[00:03:20] And withdrawal was not treated as pathology, as lack of social abilities.
[00:03:27] It was treated as necessity, as very important cycle of year and cycle of life or cycles of life.
[00:03:39] And where we live now, uh, in our culture, we completely lost that wisdom and the practice of withdrawal.
[00:03:48] Here, withdrawal is often misunderstood.
[00:03:53] It's pathologized, it's labeled as avoidance, as a lack of social skills, depression, failure, weakness, a sign that something is wrong with you and people are pressured, you are pressured to stay available.
[00:04:20] 24. 7 to be responsive 24. 7, to be productive, 24. 7, to be visible. 24, 7.
[00:04:30] Even in a social media, you exposed yourself to other people.
[00:04:38] Expectations of you being available, responsive, productive and visible.
[00:04:44] Even when your nervous system is depleted, even when your nervous system doesn't want to open phone anymore, it doesn't want to respond, it doesn't want to like, it doesn't want to share.
[00:05:05] Even when the body is asking for closure, when our soul is exhausted, when our heart is burdened and the truth is our nervous system simply cannot stay open and available and accessible all the time and forever.
[00:05:32] It's not sustainable.
[00:05:36] Our soul cannot stay available forever.
[00:05:43] If it does, we know the cost of it.
[00:05:47] We know the cost of burnout, of chronic illness, of not wanting to live, not wanting to die.
[00:05:58] We know the cost of resignation syndrome, um, and at some point, withdrawal becomes a wisdom necessity, only way to do it.
[00:06:14] And in cultures, our ancestors, they know winter solstice marks that point right here. We are allowed to retract, to reduce contact, to simplify our language, to really simplify the way, how we are showing up in our language, in our actions.
[00:06:50] It is a time when we let plans go quiet, A time without planning, a, ah, time without analyzing.
[00:07:08] Chasing apps, rewards on apps.
[00:07:14] It is a time to stop trying to be understood by anyone.
[00:07:24] It is a time where you can be nobodies but yourself.
[00:07:36] Nobody's partner, nobody's friend, nobody's citizen, nobody's sister.
[00:07:48] And yet there, you know, you will not be ostracized by them, but supported.
[00:07:58] And we lost that practice, we lost that wisdom. We submit.
[00:08:04] We submit to chasing.
[00:08:07] And if this year, this past year, as you're closing this year, has left you exhausted, flattened, uncertain, emptied, it is not failing.
[00:08:28] It's biological sign, it's somatic sign.
[00:08:36] And if you feel heavy, slow, or uninterested, um, in movement forward, if you're cynical.
[00:08:52] Or if there is nothing left in you, do not override this.
[00:08:58] Do not push through, do not effort through, do not endure.
[00:09:08] Do not endure.
[00:09:12] Because from this state, nothing essential grows if you push through, if you effort through.
[00:09:23] So this darkness is not a punishment. It's almost, um, coming back to the womb or, um, birthing of maturing, of resting, of protecting.
[00:09:45] And when we retrieve, when we withdraw in our solitude, our, uh, work is very, very small.
[00:09:58] And yet it's on cellular level, the depth goes so deep.
[00:10:07] And it's very private.
[00:10:11] Withdrawal needs to be private.
[00:10:13] It's not shared on social media.
[00:10:17] Withdrawal requests privacy cocooned privacy.
[00:10:24] It's a sacredness of solitude where we can rest, where we can feel warmth, where you can feel silence, nourishment, fewer words or no words at all, no input from outside.
[00:10:47] It's a pristine place to be.
[00:10:54] It's a place where your wisdom, um, merges up your wisdom, your intuition, your intelligence, where your body knows on its own how to heal.
[00:11:17] In that solitude, in that withdrawal.
[00:11:26] And let this year fall away without review, without making a meaning.
[00:11:34] We are tired of meaning making.
[00:11:41] And just let your body rest. Enough, Enough.
[00:11:50] And how long it will take.
[00:11:54] Your winter solstice can be all Year round. If it's needed, let that happen.
[00:12:04] Your winter solstice can happen in summer. It's not happening only on two days. When it's a winter solstice, it happens when your body needs to restore, to retract, so it can be nourished, so it can be revived, rejuvenated.
[00:12:27] And when we withdraw, we are staying close.
[00:12:33] What keeps us regulated? Not what keeps someone else regulated.
[00:12:40] We stay close. What keeps us grounded.
[00:12:46] We stay close to this space what asks nothing of us, where, uh, truly we are nobodies.
[00:13:04] But ourselves. It's a place.
[00:13:07] So this is the work.
[00:13:09] The work is not outside chasing numerous retreats and workshops. Even we can benefit. But when this becomes a chase, it's not a healing anymore. It's not the healing.
[00:13:25] You can have the most transformational retreat in your own space, in your own solitude, when intentionally, without guilt, without justification or explanation, you move towards yourself and the light, the movement, your ambitious, your plans, your ability to socialize or wanting to socialize will return on its own.
[00:14:05] It will.
[00:14:09] But by your own cycle, by your own pace.
[00:14:16] No one else, not social media pace, not your friend pace, not your partner pace, not expectation of your family, no, it will return in your own cycle, between your soul, between your heart and your biology.
[00:14:40] And for now, teach yourself and allow yourself to withdraw.
[00:14:51] This is the season for it, and it's a season anytime you need, regardless of the season.
[00:15:04] So, as we come to the end of this episode, I want to leave you with this.
[00:15:13] Winter solstice is not a moment for reflection, meaning making, or resolution. It is not.
[00:15:28] It is biological necessity.
[00:15:37] It is a cycle of life.
[00:15:40] And we need to learn to live by cycles and honor those cycles, as our ancestors did thousands and thousands of years.
[00:15:57] Winter solstice marks the place where the nervous system needs less stimulation, less contact, less explanation, less showing up. And if something in you wants to withdraw right now, it is not avoidance, it is not sign of depression.
[00:16:25] It is your biology working on its own innate wisdom and intelligence.
[00:16:37] So respect that.
[00:16:40] This is the season when we ask for fewer words, fewer demands, fewer expectations, or none.
[00:16:53] It is asking you to stop reaching and extending yourself and bending yourself, and let yourself be held by stillness.
[00:17:09] Stillness is very potent.
[00:17:15] Very potent.
[00:17:17] The space of stillness is so vast.
[00:17:25] The deepest work is in a space of stillness.
[00:17:33] In this space, you need to stay as, uh, long as your body needs, and of course, as long as you can, given your circumstances.
[00:17:47] But do not think you're not doing any work by being in this space.
[00:17:57] There is a deep birthing and preparing of a new cycle.
[00:18:02] When time is ready, when the spring comes.
[00:18:08] This is from where we start to live again.
[00:18:12] From where we start to create again.
[00:18:16] From where we start to write our, uh, books again.
[00:18:19] From where we start to love again.
[00:18:26] From a deep place of stillness when we withdraw. And you don't need to make sense of, uh, what has happened this year.
[00:18:37] No, you don't need to seek for this big enlightenment, big words, chasing meaning that comes after if you choose to. Not now, for now, you let yourself retract, pull back in, let yourself go quiet.
[00:19:07] Let this potent, nourishing dark do its work.
[00:19:13] And this is not the end.
[00:19:18] It is the hinge.
[00:19:20] And the light will return, absolutely will return.
[00:19:27] On your own time, no one else.
[00:19:32] Without effort. It will return.
[00:19:37] Until then, stay in it.
[00:19:42] Stay in it, in your privacy, what keeps you rested, at peace, warm.
[00:20:00] And if this episode reached you and you know someone it might help, please share.
[00:20:10] Please share.
[00:20:15] If you want to support this podcast or explore the programs I offer, you will find the links below.
[00:20:24] Take what's useful, leave the rest.
[00:20:30] I'm Anna Mael.
[00:20:32] This is Exiled and Rising.
[00:20:36] Until next time.
[00:20:39] Much love.
[00:20:42] Much love.
