Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Do not challenge yourself. A PTSD body, a trauma deprived body, depressed body, doesn't need a challenge in order to heal.
[00:00:13] Yet what we are seeing in many healing spaces today is the introduction of another challenge presented as a tool for healing and what that tells. Clearly whoever is setting this up does not understand trauma, deprivation or the nervous system and is not doing a justice for a person who is trying to heal.
[00:00:44] I'm Anna Mail, this is Exiled and Rising.
[00:00:47] I am Somatic experiencing therapist for PTSD and trauma recovery and I run Somatic Trauma Recovery Center.
[00:00:56] Let's begin.
[00:00:58] In a trauma deprived system, waking up is already a challenge.
[00:01:06] Leaving, uh, the bed is a challenge.
[00:01:10] Making up snacks and dinners and lunches for kids is a challenge.
[00:01:16] Taking shower is a challenge every single day, hour by hour.
[00:01:26] If you have trauma, if you have ptsd, you know that place.
[00:01:32] You know that place deeply.
[00:01:35] And it takes enormous biological, emotional and relational capacities just to move through an hour by hour in a PTSD or depression shaped body.
[00:01:52] And that capacity to move from one hour to another hour, from day to day deserves to be honored.
[00:02:03] And I bow to that.
[00:02:07] I bow to intelligence of the human body, soul and heart to continue to move through under these conditions and then in a quote unquote, healing spaces.
[00:02:27] To publish and normalize challenges as a healing tool is deeply insensitive and not trauma informed.
[00:02:39] And we know as healers, therapists and educators, we must be aware of the narratives we see around us.
[00:02:50] And we need to call people who are publishing those narratives to educate themselves.
[00:02:59] Because why? Language shapes nervous system, narrative directly impacts how healing, um, unfolds.
[00:03:10] So imagine someone who is already expending enormous effort just to get out of the bed.
[00:03:18] They want to heal, they want to feel better and then they pick up their phone, uh, let's say they go to Insight Timer apparently and read that they, in order to heal, they need to complete a, uh, 10 day challenge to reset their nervous system.
[00:03:42] So what does that to their body?
[00:03:45] Does it invite for healing?
[00:03:47] Or does it further deprive an already depleted system, depleted psyche and setting them up to feel like they're failing at healing itself While everyone else, 5,000 people already signed up only for this challenge for this week.
[00:04:13] And where is the sensitivity in this? Where is the responsibility as a therapist, as a healers, as and as owners of those apps or courses and workshops who are using that not trauma informed narrative?
[00:04:36] Because look closely at who is running many so called healing and mindfulness spaces.
[00:04:44] Often it's not people with real knowledge of trauma healing, because if they did the word challenge in, uh, a healing spaces would never be used.
[00:04:59] That word alone sets people up to feel inadequate, behind, or ashamed, even while, um, they are trying to heal.
[00:05:12] So I'm talking here about trauma and ptsd.
[00:05:18] Narrative matters.
[00:05:20] Words matter.
[00:05:22] And we must know what we are selling and how we are selling it.
[00:05:27] Healing is a big, big, big industry.
[00:05:31] And what I am observing, along with many of my colleagues, therapists, healers and practitioners, is that healing spaces have become venture capital driven environments, copying language and structure from the fitness and finance industry and importing them into trauma care.
[00:05:55] And this is causing harm.
[00:05:58] It is not right.
[00:06:00] It is not right for that person who is trying every single day to get up, uh, from bed, to take a shower, to go to the office, to commute, to drive kids to the school to make dinner.
[00:06:22] It is not right for them.
[00:06:25] It is not ethical, it is not moral.
[00:06:29] And now what we are seeing is healing burnout. Please check my episode, how healing became another hustle culture and how you're all exhausted by quote unquote healing. Because we are seeing now healing burnout.
[00:06:45] And people with trauma who are desperately trying to feel better are exhausted by constant challenges, reward systems, workshops and self improvement demands.
[00:07:03] And healing has begun to resemble a dating app for the next better thing.
[00:07:10] Now, someone who tries to heal from depression must constantly overcome obstacles to earn relief.
[00:07:20] And there is this heading as, uh, therapists and healers, we must speak about this.
[00:07:26] We must call out people who are setting up those uninformed narrative to people who are dealing with trauma and ptsd.
[00:07:37] We must set up clear boundaries and we must name what belongs in healing spaces and what does not.
[00:07:46] Because there is a line between business and healing. And that line needs to be very clear and it needs to be based on some moral principles and values and ethics.
[00:07:59] And that line has been crossed.
[00:08:02] So please do not challenge yourself.
[00:08:07] Leave that narrative.
[00:08:10] Leave that narrative.
[00:08:14] So look what will happen in your body when I say this.
[00:08:19] So this, what I'm saying is coming from deep trauma informed place.
[00:08:27] If I say allow yourself to explore this, how that lands for your body.
[00:08:43] Narrative matters.
[00:08:47] So notice what feels different when you hear, I will challenge myself versus I will explore this so your body knows answer.
[00:09:09] And for those who continue to use a challenge as a healing narrative for people with trauma and ptsd, the question must be asked, how is this not already in your awareness if you're working with people with trauma and ptsd?
[00:09:27] Which raises a deep radetical question.
[00:09:32] How is this right for people living with PTSD and trauma?
[00:09:38] And is your Space in a healing space.
[00:09:44] Because if you know one thing about trauma, you will know a traumatized or depressed nervous system is already operating at the edge of capacity and introducing challenge. Assume surplus energy, motivation, resilience and agency.
[00:10:11] And trauma is defined by loss of access to those very resources.
[00:10:20] And to request challenge from a depleted system is not healing, it is misattunement.
[00:10:31] And it's clinically harmful.
[00:10:34] Because for a nervous system perspective, challenge implies effort, performance, risk of failure, comparison, evaluation.
[00:10:51] And for trauma survivors, this activates shame, threat response, collapse or shutdown, learned helplessness.
[00:11:05] So how is that ethical for people who are trying to heal?
[00:11:11] Because if you're looking the language itself regulates or dysregulate the nervous system.
[00:11:18] So is that healing spaces are being shaped by venture logic, by venture capitalist logic.
[00:11:25] And trauma care is being rebranded as productivity.
[00:11:30] And now people with trauma and PTSD are being asked to perform healing, which mirrors fitness challenges. Absolutely. If you want to run for marathon, if you're in a fitness challenge yourself, if you want to work on your finances, go to the financial bootcamp. It's absolutely the place, the best place for the challenge, right?
[00:11:58] Productivity culture.
[00:12:00] But trauma healing cannot follow those models m without doing damage.
[00:12:08] And when healing becomes gamified, monetized, their reward system and challenge driven, people with trauma internalize failure.
[00:12:22] Shame replace safety, burnout replaces recovery.
[00:12:28] An already depleted system who is hardly moving through a day cannot sustain this.
[00:12:39] And let's bring awareness to those who are using this word challenge.
[00:12:44] In a healing spaces, language can create shame.
[00:12:49] And then you're not healing.
[00:12:53] And if your model, if that challenge requires depletion, it is not care.
[00:13:02] And healing is not achievement to conquer, but biological process that requires safety, dignity and respect from depletion.
[00:13:16] And where trauma and exhaustion can be met in a holding space, without time limit, Without expiration date, without rewards.
[00:13:40] It needs to be met with gentleness and as long time as that body needs to recover.
[00:13:54] So as I close this today, change the narrative.
[00:14:00] Replace the word challenge with the word explore.
[00:14:07] It's very subtle and very powerful.
[00:14:12] Words matter how we speak, matter the tone, how we speak, matter.
[00:14:19] What we publish, matter.
[00:14:22] Call out people who are in the healing industry and treating healing industry as another financial hub or fitness hub.
[00:14:34] And if you have trauma and PTSD and your day is already a challenge to move through, allow yourself to explore.
[00:14:52] How this day will look like for you.
[00:14:58] If m you try something new in the micro moments, micro experiment, be curious.
[00:15:10] There is no time limit.
[00:15:13] It's only you to explore. There is no performance.
[00:15:19] Exploration invites parasympathetic nervous system to settle to calm and your body will respond.
[00:15:36] And your mind will follow.
[00:15:43] And please don't challenge yourself.
[00:15:48] I am Anna Mail, Somatic Experiencing Therapist for PTSD and Trauma Recovery.
[00:15:54] I I run Somatic Drama Recovery Center.
[00:15:58] If you would like to check my programs I am running where you can do Somatic Restoration path and not challenge yourself, but welcome yourself in a healing journey.
[00:16:11] Please check the link in the show notes where you can sign up until next time.
[00:16:18] Please be gentle with yourself, keep exploring, be curious and don't pressure yourself.
[00:16:30] Much care.
[00:16:32] Much care.
