[00:00:00] Humility means I can accurately estimate myself. [00:00:09] Not inflated, not diminished, just real. Welcome. I'm Anna Mail, Somatic Experiencing therapist for PTSD and Trauma Recovery. [00:00:20] I work with my clients at Somatic Trauma Recovery center and all about me, my programs, my workshops you can find in the links below. [00:00:30] Today I want to talk about humility. So let's begin. [00:00:35] It looks like you're losing more and more humility. [00:00:38] And humility is one of the most important values we can have to keep our nervous system anchored so we can go back to what makes sense for us, what makes sense for our community, for a legacy, for a purpose. [00:00:55] And you're losing humility by the speed of light. [00:00:59] Let's begin with explaining what humility is not. [00:01:04] Humility is not thinking less of yourself. [00:01:10] Humility is not making yourself small, staying quiet when something matters, or letting others override you or overpower you. [00:01:24] That is not humility, that is self abandonment. [00:01:31] It is survival response. [00:01:34] Sometimes it's needed if we are moving through high trauma circumstances. [00:01:43] But this is not what humility is. [00:01:47] Humility is when you have accurate self awareness, where you don't need to prove or be continuously angry at everyone else, where you don't need to defend, and also when you don't need to inflate who you are and to be humble. To have that sense of humility means you see yourself clearly, you don't exaggerate your importance and you also don't deny your value or your accomplishments. [00:02:32] And that's the space in between ego which tell us I must be more, I have to be more, I should be more and shame, I am less, I'm not worthy. [00:02:50] And when you are in that middle, you are no longer performing your identity, you are no longer performing fake authenticity. [00:03:02] And many people nowadays, they are lost. They don't know who they are anymore. They have lost the sense of authenticity and identity. [00:03:12] Because the sense and teaching of what humility is, is lost. [00:03:21] And humility is a state of the nervous system. [00:03:26] So this is very important. Let me repeat this. [00:03:29] Humility is a state of the nervous system. [00:03:35] You can learn, you can embody it right in somatic therapy, this is what we embody. [00:03:43] If humility is lost, we can retrieve that humility. [00:03:49] We can learn. [00:03:51] And also humility is a place of choice that changes everything for you. [00:04:00] And when you get to that place of choice, I choose to show my Humility is a place where you will find your peace. [00:04:13] You can also see people with humility when they walk in in the room, they are not talking much and yet they are talking with their presence. [00:04:26] It's a quiet authority. [00:04:30] Uh, safety and respect is connected around them. [00:04:35] So this is how you can spot someone who is humble. [00:04:39] But again, that doesn't mean those people are thinking about themselves as less off, or that they are staying quiet when they see injustice or when something matters, or that they are less ambitious. [00:05:03] And a deeper way to understand being humble in lived experience, what it feels like. [00:05:11] There is a low internal noise about yourself. [00:05:14] You're not constantly thinking about how you are perceived. [00:05:20] Your mind is quiet. [00:05:23] So look at a gift of learning how to be humble, just not to have that constant internal noise thinking how someone is going to see you. [00:05:39] Are you boss enough? Are you man enough? [00:05:44] Are you boss, babe enough? [00:05:48] That noise is gone. [00:05:51] There is no urgency to prove or correct there. You can just let moment pass without inserting yourself with a sense of urgency. [00:06:05] And also there is a deep quality of stability in your place, where you are, you know, where you stand without needing others to confirm it. [00:06:19] And, uh, what's happening now with Gen Zs millennials as well, we can see complete dependence of how other people on social media will align with their accomplishments, with their achievements. [00:06:41] There is a, uh, continuously need that others need to confirm what you are doing and how you are doing. [00:06:53] Also, what it means to be humble is respect without comparison, where you can fully see others without ranking yourself immediately against them. [00:07:09] Who is up, uh, who is below, who is behind, who is in front of you. [00:07:16] So there is a moment of choice. [00:07:18] And these are moments in your day when your nervous system reacts before you even think, where you feel anger or defensiveness, self judgment, the need, the constant need to prove that something or the urge to correct, to push back, to be smarter one, to be more ambitious, to be more agile, to grind more, to hustle more. [00:07:49] And in those moments, there is subconscious, um, belief that reaction is truth, that this is the only way to operate and to live. [00:08:00] But it's not the truth. It is activation. [00:08:05] And if we bring the awareness of that moment, your brain starts to develop capacities to make a choice. [00:08:15] And in that space, this is a big space, what we can develop with our brains, right? It's a practice. [00:08:22] This is what we do in, uh, therapy. [00:08:25] You can choose to react or you can choose humility. [00:08:36] Not as a suppression, not as a silence, not as your weak one, but as a shift in your state. [00:08:48] And that's a place of complete inner authority over your life. [00:08:57] What humility actually is, it's so often misunderstood. People think it means being small, being weak, lacking confidence, stepping back which probably is related through the lens of many religions. [00:09:15] But humility is none of that. [00:09:18] Humility means I can accurate estimate myself. [00:09:27] Not inflated, not diminished, just real. [00:09:33] It is grounded in self awareness. This is who I am and this is who I am not. [00:09:41] And this is who I might be one day maybe. [00:09:49] And it's the place between being arrogant and self rejection. [00:09:57] M so that's that balance we are looking for to dance in that place. I don't need to be arrogant to find a space in my. [00:10:07] In my business, in making money, in relationships, in. And also I don't need to self reject myself there. I think I don't have any space in business or in making money. [00:10:22] And when you stand in between those two, you don't need to prove anything to anyone. [00:10:30] And it's one of the most liberating and freeing space for your nervous system, for your psyche and for your sama, for your body and what we can see nowadays. So just look at our culture of grind of hustle. [00:10:48] Who is operating from humility? [00:10:51] Almost no one. [00:10:53] Because they're operating from performance pressure proving, overdoing over belonging, overshining over helping. [00:11:05] And underneath all of that. So look just what it does. When I read to your nervous system, are you getting more calm or are you moving more into alert state? [00:11:19] And watch for your muscles, watch for your breath and your fingers. When I read this, you're operating and living from performance pressure proving, overdoing over belonging, overshining over helping. [00:11:38] Notice that. [00:11:41] And your body, your nervous system never truly rest with this. It can't rest. [00:11:54] Because when we are living from this place, that's your grind culture. That's your hustle and grind culture. And oh boy, how many influencers are promoting this mastermind groups of what? [00:12:15] Performance pressure, overdoing over belonging, overshining over helping over proving, overspending. [00:12:21] Is that the quality of life you want to live? [00:12:26] And is this the only way to be successful? [00:12:29] Because it always from this place. [00:12:34] What you are basically trying to do is to secure identity, to maintain position, to protect worth. [00:12:44] And that is extremely exhausting. For your nervous system to secure all of that, let's say your nervous system needs, let's say $2 million in energy money. [00:13:00] If you're running your business and your life without this, your nervous system, uh, maybe needs $200,000 of energy money. [00:13:11] So imagine what you can do with the rest of money with the rest of that energy. [00:13:17] How can you use this for yourself, for your peace, for your hobbies, for your love, for your intimacy, for your relationships, for Your legacy. [00:13:33] And if you're someone who performs at a high level and feels that internal pressure that comes with this hustle culture, uh, if you see in your environment where you work that people around you lost their sense of humility, this is something I'm going way deeper into my work. [00:14:01] All the links where you can sign up are below. [00:14:05] So let's talk about humility as a nervous system regulation. [00:14:10] Because when we choose humility, something shifts, the pressure drops. [00:14:19] You no longer have to win, have to prove, have to defend, have to outperform. [00:14:28] And when that drops, your body follows, your muscles soften, your breath deepens, and your nervous system moves into ease and fluidity. [00:14:47] And this is why humility is not just something you're learning in Bible. [00:14:54] Humility is not just a concept. [00:14:57] It is an engine for vitality. It is engine for your nervous system to perform at the best level without burning out. [00:15:11] And when we have this humility, what that means? I have my boundaries in place without defense. [00:15:20] So this is very, very important thing here because many people think I have my boundaries. I have my goal. [00:15:29] This is how much money I need to make. This is my plan. [00:15:33] And I need to defend all of this. [00:15:37] And look at this. Just listen the tone of my voice. [00:15:42] Because if I need to defend this right, that comes with activation in my nervous system. [00:15:49] I need to move my fight energy. [00:15:54] So imagine living like that 24 7. And many people do for years. [00:16:01] Humility allows something different. [00:16:05] It allows you to stay anchored, to stay clear, to stay inside your boundaries without needing to push. [00:16:21] Boundaries don't need to be defended. [00:16:26] They need to be held. [00:16:30] There is a difference between I'm defending this and I'm protecting this when it's needed. [00:16:38] You see how much there is a, uh, less activation when we are protecting something compared when I need to defend something. [00:16:49] And when you're in a place of humility, when that becomes your space of living in your nervous system, no one is pushing you to be something you are not, and you're not pushing back to protect it. [00:17:08] You're also not seen as an asshole. [00:17:12] And also you're not seen as someone who can be easily manipulated or run over. [00:17:20] Because there is a clarity, there is a space, there is a poise, there is respect. [00:17:28] So we have this archetype, if you will, of a general who just knows what needs to be done in a very quiet way. [00:17:46] What that does, when there is a clarity and space, respect. [00:17:54] We are coming to something very important. [00:17:58] Authority. There are two types of authority. The first is very loud. It demands Recognition reacts quickly, defends, constantly seeks validation, usually doesn't respect anyone and no one respects them. [00:18:17] The second type of authority is quiet. [00:18:21] It doesn't need to announce itself, doesn't need rush to respond, doesn't collapse under pressure. [00:18:35] And this is a quiet authority and it comes from humility. [00:18:42] And, and it creates something very specific in others unspoken respect. [00:18:50] Not because you demand it, not because you're showing off your money, but because your nervous system is not asking for anything. [00:19:02] The best leaders are born and led from the place of humility. [00:19:12] And if you're looking on the global scale, what kind of leaders we do have nowadays, who is leading this planet are the leaders without a sense of humility. [00:19:31] And look what's happening. [00:19:35] Also, it's very important for you to note humility will not remove your ambition. [00:19:44] Because there is a fear when I talk to my clients, oh my God, what if I lose my ambition? What if I lose my spark, my drive? [00:19:57] If I become humble, will I lose my edge? And the answer is no. [00:20:03] You be ambitious, build a business lead, create, expand. [00:20:14] Without constant pressure, constant grind, constant anger, identity, attachment, reactive decision making and urgency. [00:20:32] Humility does not remove your drive. [00:20:36] It removes noise, it removes distortion, it removes everything. [00:20:45] What innately is not valuable for your system. [00:20:51] And that is what makes it sustainable. [00:20:55] Especially in a high performance, consumer driven environment where everything pushes you to be more, do more, show more. [00:21:05] Humility becomes the only way to stay regulated while expanding. [00:21:14] This is how you will run your business for decades. And you will not be burned out in retreat center, recovering from resignation syndrome or deep depression or addiction after a year ah of being into the business or couple years. [00:21:40] Because what I often see is that burnout isn't just about workload. [00:21:47] It's about the constant need to prove to fold everything together and to compare yourself with those who are quote unquote similar to you. [00:22:01] And this is exactly what I'm helping people shift through a humility based framework. [00:22:09] If you're listening to this and recognizing yourself in it, there is a structured way to actually apply this on somatic level, not just to understand it. So please check the links below and sign up. [00:22:27] When humility is present, something opens a pause, A ah, stillness, a lost space inside of you or pushed away space inside of you. [00:22:47] There you can observe where you can reflect, where you can choose, where you can choose not to. [00:23:00] And this is where true agency, authenticity and integrity lives. [00:23:12] Because without that space, you're only reacting. [00:23:17] With that space you're living in alignment. [00:23:21] And that space we are developing through somatic Exercise we do, we need to embody this. We need to develop your amygdala to expand and also your whole nervous system. [00:23:39] Also humility allows you to seal flaws without collapsing, without defending, without feeling deep sense of shame. [00:23:53] Also it helps you to see another person clearly without attacking, to understand them. Um, without agreeing, but without hostility and war. [00:24:12] And you can say I see you and I don't meet you there. [00:24:20] I don't agree with you. [00:24:24] Without resentment, without superiority, without bullying, without self abandonment. [00:24:34] And many times humility leads to connection and also it leads to detachment. [00:24:44] And both they do come with respect. [00:24:49] And we lost that, we lost to treat each other with respect. [00:24:57] It's the core moral value. [00:25:02] And as a society we are losing that. [00:25:07] And then we are becoming more and more restless, irritated, angry, depressed. [00:25:17] And usually one of the first sign is huh? [00:25:22] Have I lost the sense of my own humility, of my own moral principles? [00:25:31] And most people believe I need to prove I need to defend and perform to be safe. [00:25:40] Because everyone is hustling, hustling, hustling. Well, turn off your social media for a week and look around. [00:25:48] The truth is you're most safe when you're not trying to prove anything. [00:25:55] Because proving is activation, humility is regulation. [00:26:05] And I will sum up this. [00:26:07] Humility is a nervous system state that replaces reactivity with grounded clarity, reducing internal pressure while increasing sustainable power and choice. [00:26:26] So you want to move from survival patterns to regulated presence. [00:26:31] So that's the work. [00:26:34] And also we have this very powerful shift where people think I need to win, I need to prove I need, I need to defend to be safe. [00:26:44] And what you want to teach I am safest and most effective when I'm not trying to prove anything. [00:26:56] So that's complete inversion of high performance culture. And also that doesn't mean you'll be lonely Wall, right? Many people are afraid they'll be very lonely. Actually no. [00:27:12] And sometimes it requires to complete remove yourself from a certain groups of people. [00:27:20] If this resonates with you. If you're someone who is driven, capable and performing but carrying pressure, overthinking, or there is internal tension, or you're sensing you're becoming someone you are not. [00:27:39] If you're having a sense you're becoming a person you're not proud of anymore, or you're having a sense you're continuously withdrawing and self abandoning or you cannot just exist in this hustle, grind over performing culture. [00:28:03] I created specifically program for this. It's called Humility for High Performance Succeeding without Burnout. It is a structured framework where I guide you step by step to remove the need to prove to regulate your nervous system in real time and to operate at a high level without internal pressure. You can find it in the link below. [00:28:36] And this is especially for people who are already high functioning but don't want to keep paying the internal cost. If you're at the edge of the burnout, find the link below and sign up In a Part two I will talk how we connect humility and practice humility with God with spirit, and why it brings a kind of peace that doesn't come from control. [00:29:07] It's called Humility, God and the Freedom from Ego. [00:29:13] I'm Anna Mail. [00:29:14] This is Exiled and Rising. [00:29:18] Until next time. [00:29:20] Much care, much career.